


Known And Seen And Cherished

by ineffablefool



Series: INNWverse [7]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: (he is fat and perfect and that's just how it is), Alternate Universe - Human, Asexual Relationship, Chubby Aziraphale (Good Omens), Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Fluff, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Just nonstop plotless fluff, Kissing, M/M, No Sex, No Smut, Trans Crowley (Good Omens), but today is all happy and soft, fat positivity, i guess? is Trans Positivity a phrase? i'm just one little transmasc dude i don't know these things, passing mentions of a past of not-fluff, trans positivity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:29:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27592753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineffablefool/pseuds/ineffablefool
Summary: Aziraphale had put his book aside at some point, and was now lying on the blanket next to Crowley.  On his side, head propped up on one hand.  Arms and chest and spreading belly completely innocent of clothing, but protected by the sunscreen that Crowley had very very thoroughly rubbed in to every perfect stretch-marked inch earlier, in a process he was looking forward to repeating.Aziraphale’s other arm was out.  Fingers stroking tenderly across the raised curves on Crowley's chest, that showed where Crowley had been different, once.(Human AU at the beach.  Crowley is trans and Aziraphale is fat and they love each other utterly.  That's the fic.)
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: INNWverse [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1644742
Comments: 46
Kudos: 152
Collections: Aspec-friendly Good Omens, Kisses Bingo





	Known And Seen And Cherished

**Author's Note:**

> Beep boop it's the Soft Zone(TM)! Welcome to the asexual, fat-positive party. Also explicitly trans-affirming today, because we are returning to the INNWverse to give Crowley a bit of love. This takes place in the same universe as my accidental novel of a human AU, [If Not Now, When](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20936816), and happens eleven or twelve years after INNW ends (both the walnuts are in their fifties). As such, **this could be considered a spoiler.** If you haven't read INNW but would still like to read this story, though, that's fine! Just keep in mind, Crowley is trans, Aziraphale is fat, and they love each other very much.
> 
>  **Possible sensitive stuff, please read:** I write Aziraphale as visibly fat, and this story does include the word "fat", but always completely positively. In this AU, Crowley is trans, and this story does reference past internalized transphobia/gender dysphoria, but fairly briefly and obliquely. It's set later than anything else I've written in this AU verse, after both of them have gone through a _lot_ of therapy and healing. All the hard parts of that healing will not be seen here. Today is only for happy times.
> 
> This is also a prompt fill for the [Kisses Bingo game](https://bingokisses.tumblr.com/) currently going on on Tumblr (even though I've already scored a bingo with my last fic, but I wrote this earlier, between August and late October). It checks off the square [forehead bump](https://bingokisses.tumblr.com/post/628372014579793920/seventh-call).
> 
> I'm writing for the TV characterization, but I've decided that my written Aziraphale is visibly fat. Tumblr and AO3 user Squeegeelicious has created [this absolutely gorgeous artwork](https://ineffablefool.tumblr.com/post/189282541139/squeegeelicious-a-walk-to-the-ritz-for) for my first human AU [If Not Now, When](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20936816), which should help you know what to visualize as you read!
> 
> [Hope](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hope_in_the_dark/works) helped me figure out a good title and she is the greatest mutually-adopted sibling a vaguely-man-shaped being could ever have and if you do not have her in your life then you are missing _out_. She also writes fics which make me happy.

He’d maybe been half-dozing in the baking sun, lying on his back and feeling the heat work its way into every pore of him. Delicious. If he got a little too hot, he could flop his arm out onto the blanket, where it would land in the shade of the beach umbrella, and thermoregulate that way. The shade was moving closer as the afternoon stretched out. The angel sitting in it was also moving closer, though, so Crowley wouldn’t complain.

When he felt a gentle sort of tickling across his skin, he didn’t think anything of it at first. Bit of something kicked up by the wind. Except it went on, sweeping slowly back and forth on his chest, as delicate as —

He let his eyes slip open. Yeah. As delicate as round fingers, dancing over his skin. Over his scars.

Aziraphale had put his book aside at some point, and was now lying on the blanket next to Crowley. On his side, head propped up on one hand. Arms and chest and spreading belly completely innocent of clothing, but protected by the sunscreen that Crowley had very very thoroughly rubbed in to every perfect stretch-marked inch earlier, in a process he was looking forward to repeating. 

Aziraphale’s other arm was out. Fingers stroking tenderly across the raised curves that showed where Crowley had been different, once.

“Hi,” Crowley said.

“Hello.” Aziraphale smiled at him just long enough to briefly eclipse the sun. “I’m sorry, darling, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Crowley would have argued that he hadn’t actually been asleep, except the huge yawn that cracked his jaw sort of worked against his claim. He settled for wriggling a little closer to Aziraphale. “Forgive you as long as you keep doing that.”

He got a chuckle, and a tiny scritch of manicured fingernails against his breastbone. Then it was silence again. Through half-closed eyes, he watched Aziraphale: pretty silvery-blond hair ruffling in the breeze, pretty double chin resting in his palm. A smile lingered over his soft lips, deepened the lines on his face, as he traced Crowley’s scars, one and then the other. Back again, light as a dream.

“Do you know,” Aziraphale said eventually, “you’re extraordinarily handsome.”

Crowley grinned lazily. “Biased, you are. Could shave my eyebrows and dye my hair green and you’d still say that.”

“Well, perhaps not the hair. I’d miss how elegantly gray you’re going.”

“Biased.”

“You’ve got those stunning eyes that I could simply lose myself in,” Aziraphale went on, “and that charming smile. Your shoulders are lovely — I’m sure you’ve noticed me ogling them, it’s really shameful of me.” Not sounding ashamed at all, of course. “And I daresay no other man alive has such a good-looking navel.”

Crowley snorted. “Don’t start bringing bellies into this. You’d win that beauty contest every time.”

“Hmm, well. I’m judging this particular contest; it would hardly be fair of me to compete.”

Crowley’s eyes snapped open. Aziraphale smirked at him, and then burst into giggling, which made Crowley laugh too, a huge thing that felt like it came all the way up from his toes. Maybe it did. Or from somewhere less literal but infinitely deeper, down in the truest heart of him.

“I love these, too.”

Aziraphale’s voice was a gentle rumble, quiet enough that Crowley barely heard him. The hand not propping up his chin flattened carefully against Crowley’s chest with the fingers spread wide.

“I wish I could have known you then, to support you. To care for you when you were healing.” Aziraphale shuffled close enough to lay his head on Crowley’s skinny chest, saying the rest down towards his feet. “I know you weren’t alone, but...”

Crowley smiled ruefully. “But there were only so many times I was willing to ask Anathema to help me get on my pants.”

“I’d have been honored, dear.”

Crowley ruffled a hand through Aziraphale’s hair, feeling the smile widen. “Well. I got through okay in the end.” He closed his eyes. “Made it to you, and that’s what really matters.”

A little while ticked by. Crowley kept his eyes shut, hand still stroking through Aziraphale’s curls. Aziraphale moved just once, head and hand resettling on Crowley’s middle, and then stayed quiet. The shadow of the umbrella stretched out just a bit more.

Then Aziraphale lifted his head and kissed the warm skin just above Crowley’s collarbone.

“Tickles,” Crowley mumbled, not opening his eyes yet. He laughed a little when he felt a matching kiss on the other side. “This is, what, is — shoulder appreciation, now?”

“Perhaps,” Aziraphale said, sounding smug. “And I believe I voiced appreciation of some other things, too.”

The next kiss was just above Crowley’s navel, and it tickled enough that his eyes flew open instinctively, arms flailing to ward off the assault. “You _bastard_ ,” he laughed, grabbing at Aziraphale, “come here —”

Soft pink lips slotted in perfectly against his, opening just enough to let a tiny pleased sound escape.

When that kiss was done, Aziraphale propped himself up on one hand again, looking down at Crowley with a smile tugging the edges of his mouth. “Now, since I was so _rudely_ interrupted...”

Crowley scoffed.

“...in my appreciation of a magnificent work of art...”

“Still biased.”

“Which wouldn’t make you any less handsome.”

The teasing response to that rose up in Crowley’s throat, then faded away. Instead, he watched Aziraphale. His eyes were green-gray, this afternoon. A perfect mirror for the sea. They held Crowley’s own for a moment, the lines around them as familiar as the inside of Crowley’s eyelids.

Aziraphale’s gaze flickered down, like he was sipping little glances of him, and the smile on his round face went fuzzy around the edges. His breath seemed to deepen and slow. He blinked suddenly, rapidly, eyes soft and glimmering, cheeks starting to pink —

Crowley wondered whether maybe his own heart was melting. Or maybe erupting. Would explain the glowing warmth spreading through him, swelling up and up to fill his chest and stomach and throat with enough joy to flatten a city.

“All right,” he said. “Won’t interrupt. You can finish appreciating.”

“Why, thank you, dear.” Aziraphale’s tone was dry, but he was still blushing. “That’s terribly generous of you.”

His hand drifted to Crowley’s chest, fingers tracing the last of the features he’d mentioned. Voiced his appreciation of. He’d already _shown_ his appreciation of the others, too.

Crowley had been different, once, and the twin scars that marked where he’d had something taken away had never really faded. They stood out clearly, pale twisted ropes against his skin. And they curved. Impossible to mistake what they were from, for anyone who saw them. His younger self had hidden them for years out of shame.

Soft lips settled on them, one and then the other. His scars were known, Aziraphale’s kisses told him, his scars were _seen_ ; and they were loved, were wanted, just like they were. Were blessed by his very own angel.

The blessing tickled just like it always did. “Do stop squirming,” Aziraphale giggled. “It’s terribly distracting.”

“ _You’re_ distracting,” Crowley said, which didn’t make much sense in context, but who cared. Not Crowley. He was too busy being known and seen and cherished. Too busy drowning in an ocean of love, shore nowhere in sight.

When he put his arms up, Aziraphale snuggled into them with a little hum. Heavy on Crowley’s chest, and soft and warm in a way every bit as delicious as the sun had been. His sweet curls tickled against Crowley’s jaw.

“‘M glad we did this,” Crowley said after a while. “Too long since we’ve had a holiday.”

Aziraphale hummed agreement, shifting around to lay his crossed arms on Crowley’s chest. “Paris _was_ lovely, though.”

“All those museums,” Crowley agreed.

“And the Opéra Bastille!”

Crowley grinned up at him. “And the crepes?”

For a moment Aziraphale pursed his lips, like he was going to respond to the teasing grin and not the question. It melted into a little smile of reminiscence, though. “...and the brioche.”

“Right. Lots of good things about Paris.”

“Hmm, yes.” Aziraphale raised an eyebrow. “Although I certainly didn’t get to enjoy watching you parade around in bathing trunks there.”

Crowley gawped, jolting upward almost enough to knock Aziraphale from his perch. “Wh — ghh, _angel_ —”

A wicked smirk touched Aziraphale’s lips. “Something wrong, my treasure?”

“ _Yes_ , something’s wrong, thank you! That’s _my_ bit! I point out that here’s better ‘cause I get to show you off to everyone, and _you_ get all pink and gorgeous, and...” Crowley trailed off, realizing his own face had gone about as hot as the sun had been earlier. “And...”

Aziraphale beamed down at him.

“Bastard,” Crowley muttered to his own shoulder.

“I noticed you getting several admiring looks when you went over to the ice cream stand.” The beautiful bastard had the gall to wiggle. “‘Such a handsome man,’ they must all have been thinking, ‘oh, I do hope he’s single’.”

Then, very innocently: “Oh my. You’re very red all of a sudden. Perhaps you’ve taken too much sun?”

Crowley groaned. Covered his face with both hands. “You’re killing me,” he said, through a huge smile, through the huge flood of love in his chest. “‘S rude to murder your husband, didn’t anyone tell you that?”

“Somehow, I think you’ll survive.”

When Aziraphale sat back up, Crowley followed him. Sat by his side, and when Aziraphale leaned into him, he dipped his head so their foreheads bumped together. “Hi,” he said quietly.

“Hello,” Aziraphale murmured back.

“Think it’s about time for more sunscreen.” Crowley traced a finger down one of the pretty stretch marks covering Aziraphale’s belly. “Unless you want to head inside.”

Aziraphale made a thoughtful sound. He slipped one arm around Crowley’s back, the other hand cupping over where Crowley’s heart would live if he hadn’t long since given it away. “It’s up to you, love. We’ve a couple of hours before our reservation.”

Which would be enough for a bit more of a lie-in, sure. On the other hand, it’d be nice to not have gravel in his pants at dinner. “Tell you what. We go back in, get showers, I maybe kiss you a few dozen times.”

“Oh, I _do_ like this plan.”

Crowley delivered one of those hinted-at kisses, Aziraphale’s round cheek warm beneath his lips. “Myeah, thought you might. Then we walk over to the restaurant, have a lovely evening, walk back. Turn in early so we can get up and do it all over again tomorrow.”

Aziraphale’s fingers began sweeping back and forth over his chest again. “I believe I can agree to your proposal, under one condition.”

Green-gray eyes fluttered up to Crowley’s, gently pleading in the way Crowley had spent more than a decade answering with _Yes, whatever you want yes, always and forever angel yes_. Wasn’t any need to ask what Aziraphale’s condition was. Not when he turned his face up like that, mouth gone gentle, eyes slipping closed.

Crowley cupped his fingers to the curve of Aziraphale’s jaw and kissed him. Long, and slow, and almost as soft as Aziraphale himself.

“Proposal accepted,” Aziraphale said at last, lips ghosting over the corner of Crowley’s mouth. “My very handsome man.”

“Yours,” Crowley promised. “Always yours.”

Aziraphale kissed him one last time, just a quick brush of lips on his cheek. Then he rose to his feet. Crowley watched him for a few seconds, admiring how beautiful he was, how fat and perfect. Scandalous, too, in nothing but swim shorts.

When they’d packed everything up, Crowley balanced the folded beach umbrella on one shoulder, blanket tucked under that arm. He held out his empty hand to Aziraphale.

“C’mon, my pretty little angel. Let’s go back in.”

Aziraphale took his hand, padded fingers tangling easily in Crowley’s bony ones. Smiled at him with his seawater eyes filled to drowning with love.

They set off together across the pebbles. Up the slope toward the little cottage they’d rented for the week, passing by families and couples and the occasional lone beachgoer, dozens of people in the hot afternoon sun. Anyone who wanted to look would see them. See wide love handles and a hanging stretch-marked belly. See curving hips and a skinny, scarred chest.

See two beautifully flawed human beings, loving and loved. Perfect however they were.

“Even the tartan,” Crowley said out loud. “It’s perfect because it’s you.”

“What, dearest?”

“I love you.”

Aziraphale shot him a look, but it was a fond one. “I love you too.” He rubbed his thumb over Crowley’s knuckles, voice gentle. “So awfully much.”

Funny thing, how Crowley believed him. How he trusted that love to stick around.

Aziraphale squeezed his hand, then let it go long enough to unlock their door. The inside of the cottage was cool, compared to the summer sun, and dim.

Soft fingers twined in Crowley’s again, and they both went inside.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you were thinking of leaving a comment, please know that I am frequently behind on answering, but that I always treasure every single one. I've literally cried a few times reading some of the lovely things people have said, and they really are fuel for my soft little heart -- but never, ever required, so please don't feel pressured. 
> 
> If you want to say hi on Tumblr, I'm [ineffablefool](https://ineffablefool.tumblr.com) there, too.
> 
> I would never actively request art from anyone I wasn't paying, but if you, the human reading this, were to decide it was worth your time to create fanart based on any of my stories, I would be incredibly honored ([and would love to enshrine it forever on my Tumblr](https://ineffablefool.tumblr.com/tagged/ineffablefool-gets-fanart-from-lovely-people))! I have only one requirement: please don't draw Aziraphale any thinner than the size I headcanon (I need both my soft cuddly daydreams, and my positive fat representation). Here are some examples of what that sort of minimum body size/shape might look like: ([beautiful fanart created for me by Squeegeelicious](https://ineffablefool.tumblr.com/post/189282541139/squeegeelicious-a-walk-to-the-ritz-for)) ([speremint 1](https://speremint.tumblr.com/post/186342035100/i-did-this-instead-of-my-hw-ya-girl-is-gonna)) ([speremint 2 from her Reversed Omens AU](https://speremint.tumblr.com/post/186574829700/finally-finally-done-making-these-refs-my)) ([dotstronaut](https://dotstronaut.tumblr.com/post/186740069618/no-really-i-dont-think-you-all-understand-how)) Otherwise, the characters can look however you like!
> 
> I hope you're having a fantastic day.


End file.
